The final seconds tick away. Parents and classmates clap. Players bend over for a few moments of rest before heading back to the sidelines, letting the major moments of the game pass through memory. It was a roughly played game with a disappointing outcome. As players criss-cross on the way to their respective benches, they avoid eye contact, remembering the dirty foul on their star player, the cheap shot behind the referee’s back, and the frequent shoving and jostling for position. At the moment, they want absolutely nothing to do with the other team, yet out of tradition, and fear of a coach’s punishment, they line up and go to congratulate the opponent. The teams pass each other, slapping hands and giving kudos 100 percent with their hands and mouths, and 0 percent with their hearts. And all this is done in the name of sportsmanship.
A long-standing tradition in high school sports, the team handshake following a game is generally viewed as a classy show of respect for the opponents. However, it all too often becomes a ritualistic exchange of scowls and sometimes unfriendly chatter. In order to prevent doing more harm than good, and to allow more freedom in expressing true sportsmanship, lining up and shaking hands with the other team after a high school game should not be a mandatory action.
Parents and fans may be surprised to find out that these exchanges aren’t always as positive as they seem. Yes, there are many times when it is a friendly exchange between players and coaches, and yes, lots of high school athletes do display good sportsmanship in victory or defeat. In hard-fought competitions, humiliating blow-outs, and rivalry games, however, post-game interactions can easily become less than friendly. Putting aside one’s anger, humiliation, or dislike of the opponent in the heat of the moment following a game takes a lot of self-control and maturity, something that many high school students simply don’t possess. While being gracious to the opponent despite the outcome is a quality trait that should be taught, if players haven’t learned it through years of post-game handshakes in youth leagues, then only coaches, parents, and other role models can effectively encourage them to display a better attitude.
As for the players who are genuinely interested in congratulating a specific player, the current system can actually hinder them from doing so. They might be able to exchange a few words with an opponent or two after the game on their way back to the sidelines, but players are usually encouraged to hurry back to get in line for the hand shake. Then, as the teams pass each other, there is about one second in which to say something to a specific player. After that, it’s hurry back for the coach’s post-game speech, load the bus, and get out of there, leaving minimal opportunities to show true, heartfelt sportsmanship.
What, then, is the solution? In almost all professional sports, the final whistle is followed by several minutes of mingling, shaking hands, and exchanging words with opponents. Some players take the time to congratulate several other players, and some head to the locker room right away. Players that are in the spotlight are commended for displaying good sportsmanship, and criticized when they do not. Thus, this informal system can actually encourage a more positive display of emotions. While it is easy to hide poor sportsmanship behind a mass handshake, leaving the field without talking to or at least shaking hands with an opponent is much more obvious. With the right influences from coaches or parents, a player would be more likely to linger on the field and find a few people to congratulate. Even if it starts only as another ritual, it is possible that the more personal interaction could change the player’s attitude.
Sportsmanship is an honorable display of character that athletes should strive to learn. Few ways of learning are more effective than simply putting something into practice, and an unstructured post-game system would allow an open setting for high schoolers to do so. When the whistle blows, will they be in a learning environment, or a ritualistic one?
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Ode to the Miscellaneous things on my dresser
To Silly Putty, the wondrous egg of childhood fun. I take it out and squish and squeeze. Then am reminded that air bubbles only pop so many ways and I put it back.
To Chinese Chess, Set, and other multiplayer games, sometimes I wish I were Zaphod Beeblebrox, or some other being with two heads, so I could play myself.
To my small collection of bobbleheads, sitting there perfectly still. You'd think I would put them on the floor. Or somewhere else where they could collect natural vibrations from around the house activities.
To the Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit box set, whoever put it into production quite miscalculated the space required. Cause now that the books have been taken out and read, the wear has rendered them wider than they were before, and The Two Towers must now be put in backwards for them all to fit. And it's still a tight squeeze.
To several decks of cards. I take you out hoping for some great mind boggling idea for a magic trick...and end up playing a mind numbing game of solitaire.
To my mug full of pens and pencils. I hate using pencils and all the pens are dead. Yet I still have my mug full of pens and pencils.
To the book Great Lies to Tell Small Kids, if you ever get the chance, you should read it.
To the thing with three pegs and a stack of rings that progressively get bigger on one of the pegs, perhaps it will provide about 10 seconds of puzzle solving until I remember how I did it last time.
To mom's tape and scissors, looks like I forgot to give those back. I guess I should go do that now.
To Chinese Chess, Set, and other multiplayer games, sometimes I wish I were Zaphod Beeblebrox, or some other being with two heads, so I could play myself.
To my small collection of bobbleheads, sitting there perfectly still. You'd think I would put them on the floor. Or somewhere else where they could collect natural vibrations from around the house activities.
To the Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit box set, whoever put it into production quite miscalculated the space required. Cause now that the books have been taken out and read, the wear has rendered them wider than they were before, and The Two Towers must now be put in backwards for them all to fit. And it's still a tight squeeze.
To several decks of cards. I take you out hoping for some great mind boggling idea for a magic trick...and end up playing a mind numbing game of solitaire.
To my mug full of pens and pencils. I hate using pencils and all the pens are dead. Yet I still have my mug full of pens and pencils.
To the book Great Lies to Tell Small Kids, if you ever get the chance, you should read it.
To the thing with three pegs and a stack of rings that progressively get bigger on one of the pegs, perhaps it will provide about 10 seconds of puzzle solving until I remember how I did it last time.
To mom's tape and scissors, looks like I forgot to give those back. I guess I should go do that now.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Super Bowl 44
The following is a run through of the Super Bowl from my perspective. All of this is what I wrote down at the time (though elaborated, since I didn’t have time to write everything down. Anything added after the game will be between “*”s). Enter my mind as I watched the game.
5:24- Pregame has been going for a while. Interviews of various players, past and present, including one of Plaxico Burress in jail. And just two years ago he was catching a Super Bowl winning touchdown. But the real point of interest here is the Peyton Manning interview. It was normal, nothing out of the ordinary, until they cued up the Jason Bourne theme in the background. At first I laughed, cause Peyton Manning doesn’t exactly make you think ‘super spy,” but the more I thought about it, what other player in the NFL would be more comparable to Jason Bourne? Peyton’s the best. Everyone wants to beat him. Everyone’s after him. Perhaps the position of running back in general would more accurately fit the ever chased Bourne profile, but I maintain that Peyton is football’s Jason Bourne.
5:29- The Super Bowl is known for advertisements, but what had to be the best marketing moment, *and after seeing all the commercials, I still agree* was before all the big commercials started. The add started with famous clips of Miss Teen South Carolina trying to explain American’s geographical ineptitude. All the viewers laugh. Then it shows Miss S. Carolina participating in “The Amazing Race.” Trust me. People will sit and watch that show just hoping someone asks S. Carolina a question. Ratings will skyrocket. Until S. Carolina is eliminated.
5:50- I’ve known a few Australians. Does anyone really have as strong of an accent as the voice for The Outback’s commercials?
5:52- Pregame analyst’s picks go 3-1 in favor of the Colts. I’m going to have to say 33-28 Colts. But go Saints.
6:08- They introduce the Saints, the crowd goes wild, and the players storm onto the field. And Saints coach Sean Payton stands there with a monotonous look on his face that in such an exciting moment could surely only be rivaled by Andy Reid.
6:12- Pizza Hut runs their $10 for any topping, any crust, any size commercial. With that deal, why would anyone get a small?
6:17- Players have taken the field, everyone is ready. All we have to do yet is sing the national anthem and flip the coin, right? Well, wait, first the Man of the Year award. Okay, it’s a nice gesture to do that on such a big stage. Oh, and then Queen Latifa sings “America the Beautiful.” Have we gotten so patriotic that now we need TWO “USA” songs? Our national anthem isn’t enough? But that’s not the outrage. One of the big Super Bowl betting lines was the over/under on how long it would take Carrie Underwood to sing the national anthem. But where were the betting lines on Queen Latifa? What if I wanted to bet the over on America the Beautiful? Nowhere did I see that opportunity. I could have lost 3 different bets before kickoff! (for those of you who don’t know me that well, insert sarcasm)
6:20- Sure, having people signing the lyrics to the national anthem is a nice gesture, but I’m quite certain that if I were deaf, the words to the national anthem are would be last on my list of things I wanted signed. I know the lyrics, it’s the national anthem! Would I like to know what the announcers are saying while a confusing play is being reviewed? Certainly.
6:23- Commercial comparing the design/engineering of golf clubs to the flight of a falcon and a fighter jet. There’s no way golf clubs are that complicated.
6:27- NFC wins the coin toss for the 13th year in a row…and there go the announcers stealing my thunder. Shoot, they even gave you the odds of that happening. Well, they weren’t the only ones aware of the possibility going into the coin toss, I was ready to pounce on that statistic as soon as the coin hit the ground, and I don’t even have teams of people feeding me all kinds of info. Kudos to me.
6:29- Colts cover the opening kickoff well. No Devon Hester repeat.
6:30- Dwight Freeney looks crippled. Don’t expect much from him.
6:33- Classic Manning to Clark across the middle to get the Colts started.
6:42- If people would have just waited and watched the Tebow commercial before making it into a huge controversy, I doubt people would have even realized it was a Pro-life add. No emphasis on Mrs. Tebow going against doctor’s advice to abort, just her saying how she almost lost him so many times. Had I not known the back story, I would have thought it was just a story about a difficult pregnancy. Good idea, Focus on the Family, bad execution.
6:48- Every time they show Manning on the sideline, I can only wish McNabb had that kind of focus and determination.
6:49- Tons of kids dream of playing in the Super Bowl and having highlights of you shown in slow motion. I doubt that when Marcus Colston was a kid he pictured that moment as him being the only player in the screen and letting a pass go right through his hands. He got good reps on the number of replays though.
6:52- CIS commercial. Somebody just made a killing selling the “slap in the back of the head” sound effect.
7:00- Correct me if I’m wrong, but that was probably the first time in Super Bowl history that someone with a last name that means “Boy” scored a touchdown.
7:03- Holding is called on the Saints during the ensuing kickoff, backing them up to the 10 yard line. As they go to another commercial break, the announcer says, “Things just got a little harder for Drew Brees and the Saints.” That’s the kind of analysis that they get paid the big bucks for.
7:06- After returning from a commercial break and only showing the kickoff before showing more commercials, the Saints run one play that takes us to the end of the first quarter. More commercials.
7:09- This really reminds me of last year’s Super Bowl. The Steelers dominated the first quarter to take a 10-0 lead. We’re still in for a game.
7:11- Probably a good call on the late hit out of bounds, but I have to wonder what defenders are supposed to do in that situation. The ball carrier *I think it was Reggie Bush* was turning the corner and diving close to the first down marker along the side line. It’s a race to the side line to pick up the first down or prevent the first down. If the defender pulls up at all, he makes it. If the defender doesn’t slow down and hits him in midair just moments after he goes out of bounds (which in real speed is virtually no time to react) it’s a 15 yard penalty. Seems like a lose-lose situation for the defender.
7:15- Haha. Great slo-mo shot of an official ducking a pass and simultaneously turning to watch the play.
7:20- Can we start a petition right now to not have two commercials in a row featuring guys not wearing pants?
7:28- The just showed Dwight Freeney highlights. I’m wrong already. But in my defense, apart from the sack, none of those highlights would have been shown if he weren’t battling an injury.
7:31- Wide Receiver Reverse: The ultimate second guess plays. The play bombed. A 7 yard loss. So we call it a terrible play call.
7:37- 3rd and goal at the 1 and they’re already talking about whether they should or shouldn’t go for it on 4th down.
7:38- A coach with the guts to go for it on 4th and goal after LOSING yards on 3rd down. I like it.
7:41- Colts make the stop: Manning greatness to ensue.
7:43- cough…ehem…I mean…three run plays and out is great, too…
7:46- the Saints just ran up and spiked the ball, letting a mere 10 seconds or so off the clock. McNabb was watching that, right? Brees didn’t line up behind the wrong lineman, nor did he fake back and forth before trying to spike the ball and end up getting sacked. Watch and learn, Donovan.
7:49- Halftime stat: colts 11-1 when leading at halftime. May I ask how that’s relevant? They won every game they tried to win and lost the games they didn’t try to win. So let’s try this one for size: Colts are 16-2 in games that they reached halftime.
7:50- So I really wanted to make a prediction that defenses would surprise a lot of people, and with a 10-6 halftime score, I would have been right. But alas I didn’t have the guts. Largely because I thought that no matter what the defenses did, scoring would take off in the second half. So offense, bail me out, please!
7:54- Bill Cowher says how much he loved Sean Payton’s decision to go for it on 4th and goal from the 1 ½ yard line, because you have to play to win! Um, Bill, may I remind you of a certain AFC Championship game you coached against the Patriots? The Steelers were down by 13 points with about 10 minutes left and faced a 4th and goal from the 2. Did Bill Cowher “play to win?” Nope. He kicked a field goal! So, Bill, don’t try and act like you would have done the same.
7:58- “The Who” are doing the halftime show. Now think of your favorite current day band. I have good news! They might do the Super Bowl halftime show! …in about 30 or 40 years.
Several times during halftime- Thanks to Andy Hock for pointing this one out. One of the camera men must share my opinion of the halftime show, as several times they showed the lead singer…with a clock behind him counting down the time until halftime ends.
8:20- Onside kick! Who Dat gonna recover dat ball?
8:25- That onside kick really fired up the players. Lots of extracurricular activity going on after the plays. Expect more.
8:26- Screen pass to Pierre Thomas for a touchdown. Wow, that catch and run took me back to the Brian Westbrook glory days.
8:29- Yup, tempers are flaring.
8:34- Thing of beauty pass from Manning to Dallas Clark. Dropped perfectly into Clark’s hands over two jumping defenders. *and a great sideline shot of the play as we headed into the next commercial break*
8:35- 7:30 left in the 3rd quarter, and it happened. I started trying to visualize the post game celebration. My desire to know the future has irrevocably kicked in now. I will now overanalyze each score and lead change into trying to predict the final outcome.
8:36- A Joseph Addai rushing touchdown…and they show the Manning family cheering in their luxury box. Well, they had to show the Mannings at some point, I guess.
8:43- Still waiting for the Saints to go downfield. Apart from the long incompletion on their first possession, everything’s been short.
8:47- In order for my final score prediction to come true, all we need is the Colts to score 16 more points, and the Saints 12. I’d say my chances are zero.
8:50- Very much enjoyed the shot of Jeremy Shockey, who was once one of my most disliked players, getting crunched in slow motion.
9:01- Very impressed with the officiating so far. I don’t have a thing to complain about (apart from the previously mentioned dispute over the late hit out of bounds rule). Hopefully I didn’t just jinx it.
9:05- Visio Droid commercial. Whoever thought to bring back the fat guy dancing to the Numa Numa song is a genious.
9:08- Nine minutes left in the game and it seems like there’s been a whole lot more offense than 17-16.
9:13- That official made the most of his 5 seconds of fame while calling the 2 point conversion attempt incomplete. Drastic incomplete signal, followed by an over emphatic juggling motion, followed by another dramatic incomplete signal or two.
9:16- Upon review, the 2 point conversion is good! If not, a serious rant will follow.
9:17- The official that made the call after the challenge did NOT make the most of his 5 seconds of fame.
9:25- The eco-friendly police take the cake as the worst commercial
9:27- Did not see that interception coming. I’m kinda bummed, though. I expected the Colts to tie it up, and then we’d get to see Drew Brees try to define his career by taking his team down the field for the game winning score with at least less than three minutes left. Instead, we get to see Peyton Manning try to build on his already defined career by trying to score two touchdowns in three minutes. It’ll be exciting if he does it, but if he doesn’t, not so much.
9:35- Long pass play takes us to the 2 minute warning with the Colts in good field position. Three time outs left, and they might make this interesting yet.
9:40- Anyone doubting how great Peyton Manning is, should think about this: What other QB could be down by 14 with 1:30 left and make you think, “Hey, they still have 3 timeouts! If they score here and stop the Saints, he’ll get the ball back with no time outs and a whole minute to go the length of the field. Look out saints!” *of course perhaps I was the only one to think this. And perhaps rightfully so. But it’s an interesting thought, nonetheless.*
9:41- 3rd down from the 4 and they run it? Along with Peyton calling a timeout that he regretted moments later, there goes the theory listed above.
9:42- Impressive win for the Saints.
9:43- Shot of Saints owner celebrating. Good thing for him it didn’t come down to a field goal.
9:44- The Saints know teamwork…except when it comes to not getting in the way of the guys trying to douse the coach in Gatorade. Ah, well, though. It’s their first ever championship.
That wraps up my timeline. Now for some post game thoughts.
This Super Bowl was a lot more bland than last year in that I don’t have any horrible calls to complain about, nor do I have John Madden to make fun of (though I hate to do it, I must admit that I really did miss having Madden ramble his way through the Super Bowl). But there were several interesting moments to comment on throughout the game.
Perhaps the most subtly strange was during an NFL commercial there was a short shot of a kid wearing a Brett Favre Jets jersey. You’d think the NFL would stay up to date on that kind of thing.
The onside kick to start the second half was unlike anything I’ve ever seen. It was certainly the “yup, it’s the Super Bowl” moment, as players ignored officials trying to clear up the scrum pile and kept going back in. I’ve never seen a fumble pile take anywhere close to that long to sort out, nor have I ever seen both teams that entirely convinced that they had come up with the ball.
Undervalued play of the Game would have to go to Lance Moore and his 2 point conversion catch. Not only was it an incredibly athletic fusion of the catch and the stretch into one motion, but we didn’t realize he had done anything special until we saw the replays (the game shot just showed his back, and looked like an incomplete pass), and at that point we were all focusing on whether or not he scored. In addition as the Colts started driving back down the field, those 2 points put the Colt’s backs against the wall and gave the Saints breathing room. After all, worst case scenario, if the Colts score, it’s tied. Without those 2 points, a Colts score would put the Saints against however much clock was left to get a field goal. Am I saying that Tracy Porter might not have been sitting on Reggie Wayne’s route quite so much if a touchdown would have put them behind? Not necessarily, the Saints play and aggressive defense, so it’s likely he would have made the interception anyway, however that is something to think about.
The post game interviews are notorious for players/coaches/owners going overboard in proclaiming their fans/city/players/coaches/etc to be the very best. We had that. But the Saints owner took it to a whole new level, saying that the City of New Orleans and the State of Louisiana were “Back and showed the whole world.” Understandable enthusiasm, yet pathetic world view. Sure, a few people around the world watch the Super Bowl to see what American Football is all about, but they were proven nothing. Come to think of it, nothing was proved to me about New Orleans or Louisiana by the Saints winning the Super Bowl.
A long, lingering shot of Drew Brees holding his 1ish son during the postgame celebration led to my favorite announcing line: “That’s the most precious moment that he could share with his son.” Change the word “share” to “have” and I’ll agree. But I’m pretty sure that while it was a great moment for Drew Brees, all that was running through the kid’s head was, “Why is everyone yelling? Hey look, it’s raining paper. I don’t feel this small around most people. Where’s mom?”
So another season is in the wraps. While it’s nice to see a little guy win here and there, it was very enjoyable to see the #1 seeds from both conferences face off in the Super Bowl. They were the best from start to finish, well done by both of them. The game won’t go down as a Super Bowl great, but it was a good game with few turnovers and few penalties. Simply two great teams going at each other, a treat we don’t get in this magnitude very often.
-Ben Herr
5:24- Pregame has been going for a while. Interviews of various players, past and present, including one of Plaxico Burress in jail. And just two years ago he was catching a Super Bowl winning touchdown. But the real point of interest here is the Peyton Manning interview. It was normal, nothing out of the ordinary, until they cued up the Jason Bourne theme in the background. At first I laughed, cause Peyton Manning doesn’t exactly make you think ‘super spy,” but the more I thought about it, what other player in the NFL would be more comparable to Jason Bourne? Peyton’s the best. Everyone wants to beat him. Everyone’s after him. Perhaps the position of running back in general would more accurately fit the ever chased Bourne profile, but I maintain that Peyton is football’s Jason Bourne.
5:29- The Super Bowl is known for advertisements, but what had to be the best marketing moment, *and after seeing all the commercials, I still agree* was before all the big commercials started. The add started with famous clips of Miss Teen South Carolina trying to explain American’s geographical ineptitude. All the viewers laugh. Then it shows Miss S. Carolina participating in “The Amazing Race.” Trust me. People will sit and watch that show just hoping someone asks S. Carolina a question. Ratings will skyrocket. Until S. Carolina is eliminated.
5:50- I’ve known a few Australians. Does anyone really have as strong of an accent as the voice for The Outback’s commercials?
5:52- Pregame analyst’s picks go 3-1 in favor of the Colts. I’m going to have to say 33-28 Colts. But go Saints.
6:08- They introduce the Saints, the crowd goes wild, and the players storm onto the field. And Saints coach Sean Payton stands there with a monotonous look on his face that in such an exciting moment could surely only be rivaled by Andy Reid.
6:12- Pizza Hut runs their $10 for any topping, any crust, any size commercial. With that deal, why would anyone get a small?
6:17- Players have taken the field, everyone is ready. All we have to do yet is sing the national anthem and flip the coin, right? Well, wait, first the Man of the Year award. Okay, it’s a nice gesture to do that on such a big stage. Oh, and then Queen Latifa sings “America the Beautiful.” Have we gotten so patriotic that now we need TWO “USA” songs? Our national anthem isn’t enough? But that’s not the outrage. One of the big Super Bowl betting lines was the over/under on how long it would take Carrie Underwood to sing the national anthem. But where were the betting lines on Queen Latifa? What if I wanted to bet the over on America the Beautiful? Nowhere did I see that opportunity. I could have lost 3 different bets before kickoff! (for those of you who don’t know me that well, insert sarcasm)
6:20- Sure, having people signing the lyrics to the national anthem is a nice gesture, but I’m quite certain that if I were deaf, the words to the national anthem are would be last on my list of things I wanted signed. I know the lyrics, it’s the national anthem! Would I like to know what the announcers are saying while a confusing play is being reviewed? Certainly.
6:23- Commercial comparing the design/engineering of golf clubs to the flight of a falcon and a fighter jet. There’s no way golf clubs are that complicated.
6:27- NFC wins the coin toss for the 13th year in a row…and there go the announcers stealing my thunder. Shoot, they even gave you the odds of that happening. Well, they weren’t the only ones aware of the possibility going into the coin toss, I was ready to pounce on that statistic as soon as the coin hit the ground, and I don’t even have teams of people feeding me all kinds of info. Kudos to me.
6:29- Colts cover the opening kickoff well. No Devon Hester repeat.
6:30- Dwight Freeney looks crippled. Don’t expect much from him.
6:33- Classic Manning to Clark across the middle to get the Colts started.
6:42- If people would have just waited and watched the Tebow commercial before making it into a huge controversy, I doubt people would have even realized it was a Pro-life add. No emphasis on Mrs. Tebow going against doctor’s advice to abort, just her saying how she almost lost him so many times. Had I not known the back story, I would have thought it was just a story about a difficult pregnancy. Good idea, Focus on the Family, bad execution.
6:48- Every time they show Manning on the sideline, I can only wish McNabb had that kind of focus and determination.
6:49- Tons of kids dream of playing in the Super Bowl and having highlights of you shown in slow motion. I doubt that when Marcus Colston was a kid he pictured that moment as him being the only player in the screen and letting a pass go right through his hands. He got good reps on the number of replays though.
6:52- CIS commercial. Somebody just made a killing selling the “slap in the back of the head” sound effect.
7:00- Correct me if I’m wrong, but that was probably the first time in Super Bowl history that someone with a last name that means “Boy” scored a touchdown.
7:03- Holding is called on the Saints during the ensuing kickoff, backing them up to the 10 yard line. As they go to another commercial break, the announcer says, “Things just got a little harder for Drew Brees and the Saints.” That’s the kind of analysis that they get paid the big bucks for.
7:06- After returning from a commercial break and only showing the kickoff before showing more commercials, the Saints run one play that takes us to the end of the first quarter. More commercials.
7:09- This really reminds me of last year’s Super Bowl. The Steelers dominated the first quarter to take a 10-0 lead. We’re still in for a game.
7:11- Probably a good call on the late hit out of bounds, but I have to wonder what defenders are supposed to do in that situation. The ball carrier *I think it was Reggie Bush* was turning the corner and diving close to the first down marker along the side line. It’s a race to the side line to pick up the first down or prevent the first down. If the defender pulls up at all, he makes it. If the defender doesn’t slow down and hits him in midair just moments after he goes out of bounds (which in real speed is virtually no time to react) it’s a 15 yard penalty. Seems like a lose-lose situation for the defender.
7:15- Haha. Great slo-mo shot of an official ducking a pass and simultaneously turning to watch the play.
7:20- Can we start a petition right now to not have two commercials in a row featuring guys not wearing pants?
7:28- The just showed Dwight Freeney highlights. I’m wrong already. But in my defense, apart from the sack, none of those highlights would have been shown if he weren’t battling an injury.
7:31- Wide Receiver Reverse: The ultimate second guess plays. The play bombed. A 7 yard loss. So we call it a terrible play call.
7:37- 3rd and goal at the 1 and they’re already talking about whether they should or shouldn’t go for it on 4th down.
7:38- A coach with the guts to go for it on 4th and goal after LOSING yards on 3rd down. I like it.
7:41- Colts make the stop: Manning greatness to ensue.
7:43- cough…ehem…I mean…three run plays and out is great, too…
7:46- the Saints just ran up and spiked the ball, letting a mere 10 seconds or so off the clock. McNabb was watching that, right? Brees didn’t line up behind the wrong lineman, nor did he fake back and forth before trying to spike the ball and end up getting sacked. Watch and learn, Donovan.
7:49- Halftime stat: colts 11-1 when leading at halftime. May I ask how that’s relevant? They won every game they tried to win and lost the games they didn’t try to win. So let’s try this one for size: Colts are 16-2 in games that they reached halftime.
7:50- So I really wanted to make a prediction that defenses would surprise a lot of people, and with a 10-6 halftime score, I would have been right. But alas I didn’t have the guts. Largely because I thought that no matter what the defenses did, scoring would take off in the second half. So offense, bail me out, please!
7:54- Bill Cowher says how much he loved Sean Payton’s decision to go for it on 4th and goal from the 1 ½ yard line, because you have to play to win! Um, Bill, may I remind you of a certain AFC Championship game you coached against the Patriots? The Steelers were down by 13 points with about 10 minutes left and faced a 4th and goal from the 2. Did Bill Cowher “play to win?” Nope. He kicked a field goal! So, Bill, don’t try and act like you would have done the same.
7:58- “The Who” are doing the halftime show. Now think of your favorite current day band. I have good news! They might do the Super Bowl halftime show! …in about 30 or 40 years.
Several times during halftime- Thanks to Andy Hock for pointing this one out. One of the camera men must share my opinion of the halftime show, as several times they showed the lead singer…with a clock behind him counting down the time until halftime ends.
8:20- Onside kick! Who Dat gonna recover dat ball?
8:25- That onside kick really fired up the players. Lots of extracurricular activity going on after the plays. Expect more.
8:26- Screen pass to Pierre Thomas for a touchdown. Wow, that catch and run took me back to the Brian Westbrook glory days.
8:29- Yup, tempers are flaring.
8:34- Thing of beauty pass from Manning to Dallas Clark. Dropped perfectly into Clark’s hands over two jumping defenders. *and a great sideline shot of the play as we headed into the next commercial break*
8:35- 7:30 left in the 3rd quarter, and it happened. I started trying to visualize the post game celebration. My desire to know the future has irrevocably kicked in now. I will now overanalyze each score and lead change into trying to predict the final outcome.
8:36- A Joseph Addai rushing touchdown…and they show the Manning family cheering in their luxury box. Well, they had to show the Mannings at some point, I guess.
8:43- Still waiting for the Saints to go downfield. Apart from the long incompletion on their first possession, everything’s been short.
8:47- In order for my final score prediction to come true, all we need is the Colts to score 16 more points, and the Saints 12. I’d say my chances are zero.
8:50- Very much enjoyed the shot of Jeremy Shockey, who was once one of my most disliked players, getting crunched in slow motion.
9:01- Very impressed with the officiating so far. I don’t have a thing to complain about (apart from the previously mentioned dispute over the late hit out of bounds rule). Hopefully I didn’t just jinx it.
9:05- Visio Droid commercial. Whoever thought to bring back the fat guy dancing to the Numa Numa song is a genious.
9:08- Nine minutes left in the game and it seems like there’s been a whole lot more offense than 17-16.
9:13- That official made the most of his 5 seconds of fame while calling the 2 point conversion attempt incomplete. Drastic incomplete signal, followed by an over emphatic juggling motion, followed by another dramatic incomplete signal or two.
9:16- Upon review, the 2 point conversion is good! If not, a serious rant will follow.
9:17- The official that made the call after the challenge did NOT make the most of his 5 seconds of fame.
9:25- The eco-friendly police take the cake as the worst commercial
9:27- Did not see that interception coming. I’m kinda bummed, though. I expected the Colts to tie it up, and then we’d get to see Drew Brees try to define his career by taking his team down the field for the game winning score with at least less than three minutes left. Instead, we get to see Peyton Manning try to build on his already defined career by trying to score two touchdowns in three minutes. It’ll be exciting if he does it, but if he doesn’t, not so much.
9:35- Long pass play takes us to the 2 minute warning with the Colts in good field position. Three time outs left, and they might make this interesting yet.
9:40- Anyone doubting how great Peyton Manning is, should think about this: What other QB could be down by 14 with 1:30 left and make you think, “Hey, they still have 3 timeouts! If they score here and stop the Saints, he’ll get the ball back with no time outs and a whole minute to go the length of the field. Look out saints!” *of course perhaps I was the only one to think this. And perhaps rightfully so. But it’s an interesting thought, nonetheless.*
9:41- 3rd down from the 4 and they run it? Along with Peyton calling a timeout that he regretted moments later, there goes the theory listed above.
9:42- Impressive win for the Saints.
9:43- Shot of Saints owner celebrating. Good thing for him it didn’t come down to a field goal.
9:44- The Saints know teamwork…except when it comes to not getting in the way of the guys trying to douse the coach in Gatorade. Ah, well, though. It’s their first ever championship.
That wraps up my timeline. Now for some post game thoughts.
This Super Bowl was a lot more bland than last year in that I don’t have any horrible calls to complain about, nor do I have John Madden to make fun of (though I hate to do it, I must admit that I really did miss having Madden ramble his way through the Super Bowl). But there were several interesting moments to comment on throughout the game.
Perhaps the most subtly strange was during an NFL commercial there was a short shot of a kid wearing a Brett Favre Jets jersey. You’d think the NFL would stay up to date on that kind of thing.
The onside kick to start the second half was unlike anything I’ve ever seen. It was certainly the “yup, it’s the Super Bowl” moment, as players ignored officials trying to clear up the scrum pile and kept going back in. I’ve never seen a fumble pile take anywhere close to that long to sort out, nor have I ever seen both teams that entirely convinced that they had come up with the ball.
Undervalued play of the Game would have to go to Lance Moore and his 2 point conversion catch. Not only was it an incredibly athletic fusion of the catch and the stretch into one motion, but we didn’t realize he had done anything special until we saw the replays (the game shot just showed his back, and looked like an incomplete pass), and at that point we were all focusing on whether or not he scored. In addition as the Colts started driving back down the field, those 2 points put the Colt’s backs against the wall and gave the Saints breathing room. After all, worst case scenario, if the Colts score, it’s tied. Without those 2 points, a Colts score would put the Saints against however much clock was left to get a field goal. Am I saying that Tracy Porter might not have been sitting on Reggie Wayne’s route quite so much if a touchdown would have put them behind? Not necessarily, the Saints play and aggressive defense, so it’s likely he would have made the interception anyway, however that is something to think about.
The post game interviews are notorious for players/coaches/owners going overboard in proclaiming their fans/city/players/coaches/etc to be the very best. We had that. But the Saints owner took it to a whole new level, saying that the City of New Orleans and the State of Louisiana were “Back and showed the whole world.” Understandable enthusiasm, yet pathetic world view. Sure, a few people around the world watch the Super Bowl to see what American Football is all about, but they were proven nothing. Come to think of it, nothing was proved to me about New Orleans or Louisiana by the Saints winning the Super Bowl.
A long, lingering shot of Drew Brees holding his 1ish son during the postgame celebration led to my favorite announcing line: “That’s the most precious moment that he could share with his son.” Change the word “share” to “have” and I’ll agree. But I’m pretty sure that while it was a great moment for Drew Brees, all that was running through the kid’s head was, “Why is everyone yelling? Hey look, it’s raining paper. I don’t feel this small around most people. Where’s mom?”
So another season is in the wraps. While it’s nice to see a little guy win here and there, it was very enjoyable to see the #1 seeds from both conferences face off in the Super Bowl. They were the best from start to finish, well done by both of them. The game won’t go down as a Super Bowl great, but it was a good game with few turnovers and few penalties. Simply two great teams going at each other, a treat we don’t get in this magnitude very often.
-Ben Herr
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Say What?
It's not very often that I laugh when I hear about a new reality TV show. The premises of shows have become either completely ridiculous (Amish in the City!!!) or incredibly repetitive (I hear Octo-mom is getting a show to go along with all the other ones about families with tons of kids), but a series that is about to start filming isn't one where the idea is out there, but rather...well, here's the basis:
A pro athlete will challenge other pro athletes in their respective sports. He will take on Ben Roethlisberger in some sort of a football challenge, Michael Phelps in swimming, Oscar de la Hoya in boxing, Albert Pujols in baseball, Serena Williams in tennis, Misty May-Trenor and Kerri Walsh in beach volley ball, and is hoping to book Lance Armstrong in cycling when the Tour de France is finished.
This is actually something I've wanted to see for quite a while. Sure I'd prefer whole teams going at each other in different sports, but this would have done quite nicely. The star of the series says that he came up with the idea and figure fans "would really want to see an athlete play another sport." Indeed I would. I would love to see a Lebron James, a Ladanian Tomlinson, a Derek Jeter, a Tiger Woods, a Lance Armstrong, or some elite athlete switch sports for a bit (though the Michael Jordan experiment was an utter disaster). Unfortunately, that's not what we get here. We get Shaquille O'neal. Yup, we get all 7'1" of him. And all 325 pounds of him. Yes, it's okay to laugh as the mental pictures start flooding your mind. Yes, Shaq is (or at least was) an elite basketball player. But for his size and his ability to use it. He may be extremely athletic relative to his size, but... a 7'1" body doesn't cut through water at all like Phelps does. And the thought of him trying to hustle back and forth from one side of the tennis court to the other as Serena Williams calmly places the ball on alternate sidelines is quite amusing.
While Shaq concedes that he isn't very skilled at tennis or baseball (a home run derby), he says he expects to exceed at football and swimming. At swimming? Versus Michael Phelps? Suddenly, Chad Ocho Cinco's claim that he could beat Michael Phelps doesn't sound quite so outlandish.
Where the real catch comes in is that O'neal and his rival will negotiate a handicap. No kidding. And it gets even better with Shaq's quote, "Bragging rights is always better than any monetary prize" in response to the fact that there won't be a cash prize to the winner of the event.
I find the bigger question to be, how could anyone find any reason to brag about winning this event? What are they supposed to say?
"I, Michael Phelps, Olympic record holder and double digit gold medal possessor beat a 325 pound 7 footer who is over ten years my elder in a swimming race?"
"I, Albert Pujols, one of the best sluggers in the major leagues, hit more home runs than a 7'1" NBA center who's hand/eye coordination was only good enough to hit a little over half his free throw attempts?"
And with adequate handicaps figured in, how is Shaq supposed to brag?
"I, Shaquille O'neal, beat Serena Williams in a tennis match despite each game starting at 'game point-love' in my favor?"
"I, Shaquille O'neal, beat Lance Armstrong in a cycling race despite the fact that I started at the top of the hill and raced down, and he started at the bottom and raced up?"
I don't know, perhaps I'm misunderestimating the big fellow's athletic prowess. But I do know the handicaps will have to be significant (though probably not quite to the extreme of those mentioned above). Sure, handicaps can be fun in order to level the playing field, but I don't see how any bragging rights can come from winning a handicapped event.
Now don't get me wrong, the show will be plenty entertaining, no doubt (though I doubt I'll ever see any of it). I just have a hunch that "Shaq VS" will be funny for the same reason as, say, tryouts for American Idol are funny.
A pro athlete will challenge other pro athletes in their respective sports. He will take on Ben Roethlisberger in some sort of a football challenge, Michael Phelps in swimming, Oscar de la Hoya in boxing, Albert Pujols in baseball, Serena Williams in tennis, Misty May-Trenor and Kerri Walsh in beach volley ball, and is hoping to book Lance Armstrong in cycling when the Tour de France is finished.
This is actually something I've wanted to see for quite a while. Sure I'd prefer whole teams going at each other in different sports, but this would have done quite nicely. The star of the series says that he came up with the idea and figure fans "would really want to see an athlete play another sport." Indeed I would. I would love to see a Lebron James, a Ladanian Tomlinson, a Derek Jeter, a Tiger Woods, a Lance Armstrong, or some elite athlete switch sports for a bit (though the Michael Jordan experiment was an utter disaster). Unfortunately, that's not what we get here. We get Shaquille O'neal. Yup, we get all 7'1" of him. And all 325 pounds of him. Yes, it's okay to laugh as the mental pictures start flooding your mind. Yes, Shaq is (or at least was) an elite basketball player. But for his size and his ability to use it. He may be extremely athletic relative to his size, but... a 7'1" body doesn't cut through water at all like Phelps does. And the thought of him trying to hustle back and forth from one side of the tennis court to the other as Serena Williams calmly places the ball on alternate sidelines is quite amusing.
While Shaq concedes that he isn't very skilled at tennis or baseball (a home run derby), he says he expects to exceed at football and swimming. At swimming? Versus Michael Phelps? Suddenly, Chad Ocho Cinco's claim that he could beat Michael Phelps doesn't sound quite so outlandish.
Where the real catch comes in is that O'neal and his rival will negotiate a handicap. No kidding. And it gets even better with Shaq's quote, "Bragging rights is always better than any monetary prize" in response to the fact that there won't be a cash prize to the winner of the event.
I find the bigger question to be, how could anyone find any reason to brag about winning this event? What are they supposed to say?
"I, Michael Phelps, Olympic record holder and double digit gold medal possessor beat a 325 pound 7 footer who is over ten years my elder in a swimming race?"
"I, Albert Pujols, one of the best sluggers in the major leagues, hit more home runs than a 7'1" NBA center who's hand/eye coordination was only good enough to hit a little over half his free throw attempts?"
And with adequate handicaps figured in, how is Shaq supposed to brag?
"I, Shaquille O'neal, beat Serena Williams in a tennis match despite each game starting at 'game point-love' in my favor?"
"I, Shaquille O'neal, beat Lance Armstrong in a cycling race despite the fact that I started at the top of the hill and raced down, and he started at the bottom and raced up?"
I don't know, perhaps I'm misunderestimating the big fellow's athletic prowess. But I do know the handicaps will have to be significant (though probably not quite to the extreme of those mentioned above). Sure, handicaps can be fun in order to level the playing field, but I don't see how any bragging rights can come from winning a handicapped event.
Now don't get me wrong, the show will be plenty entertaining, no doubt (though I doubt I'll ever see any of it). I just have a hunch that "Shaq VS" will be funny for the same reason as, say, tryouts for American Idol are funny.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Lebron a bad sport?
Lebron James of the Cleveland Cavaliers had just lost in the NBA semi-finals. After leading a team with mediocre surrounding talent to the best record in the regular season, it was over. So Lebron James left the court and went home. Now he is drawing all kinds of criticism for not shaking opponent's hands or speaking to the media that night. As a star player, and team leader, he should have demonstrated good sportsmanship, so they say. And I agree to some extent. But looking back on my own limited sports experience, I have to ask the question, what is true sportsmanship?
It was my senior year of high school; my only year playing varsity soccer. It was the season I had been anticipating every since I had started playing for Penn Manor. And we started off 0-4. Next on the schedule was McCaskey, an inner city school known much more for their basketball than their soccer, so it was the perfect time to get a win and get our season moving in the right direction. But on a wet, rainy day, we slopped our way into a second overtime period, tied 1-1. With about six minutes left, a McCaskey player got the ball just outside the box shot it crisply, but straight at me on one hop. It was a simple forward dive to scoop it up, but when I lowered my arms, the ball slipped through, and went between my legs for the game winning goal. Heading off the field in disbelief, I had absolutely no desire to ceremonially shake the opponent's hands. Given the nature of our coach, however, I knew I had no choice unless I wanted tomorrow's practice to be more than miserable. So I took the keeper's position at the front of the hand shake line and proceeded. As we passed the other team, I slapped hands, saying nothing. If I made any eye contact, it was a scowl. Looking back, I see no sportsmanship in this, only anti-sportsman ship. It was even to the point that when one of my friends (who was on McCaskey's JV team and sitting beside the bench) called my name several times, trying to get my attention in order to offer his condolences, and I completely ignored him.
Now before I go any farther, let me say this. I could have made the choice to have a better attitude. I could have been more gracious in defeat. But this was at least the second game in the young season that I felt like I had single handedly blown. In a way, I felt like I owed it to the rest of my team to not just walk off the field like everything was great. But given the way I carried myself, and knowing how I would act while "congratulating" the other team, would it have been more sportsman like to have sat down on the bench and said nothing, done nothing to the other team? Isn't there a point when, though it may be the more difficult and criticizable, the right thing to do is sit down and bypass the token and somewhat legalistic exchanges, because you know you might do something worse in the heat of the moment?
Now this is entirely speculation, I don't know what was/is going on inside Lebron's head, but I wonder if some of the same reasoning was behind Lebron's comments. When asked if he had spoken to Dwight Howard or any of the Magic players, he responded,
"No, I haven't, I send him an email last night congratulating him. One thing about me you gotta understand, it's hard to congratulate someone after just losing to them. I'm a winner, it's not being a poor sport or anything like that. Someone just beat you up, you're not going to congratulate them on beating you up, that doesn't make sense to me. I'm a competitor and that's what I do. It doesn't make sense for me to go over and shake some one's hand."
While it's easy for these comments to sound like they came from a poor sport, I do have to wonder whether it was Lebron's attempt to articulate, "You know, it was a tough loss, I was obviously disappointed, and as the leader of this team, I felt like we let a lot of people down. I knew that if I would have went over to congratulate them it wouldn't have been from the heart, it would have just been tradition; going through the motions." Again, I could be completely wrong on this one. But when people go to one extreme to criticizing someone, for not legalistically shaking hands in the name of good sportsmanship, you have to go to the other extreme to defend them. This may or may not be the case with Lebron, but sometimes the right thing, the mature thing, the sportsman like thing to do won't look as good to the public eye as the standard response does. But it is the best thing.
Finally, a story of a time when I decided to sit down. My church youth group was in Honduras on a missions trip, and one evening, we went with some of the Honduran church members to play soccer at a rented indoor field. The way the small field was marked was: a midfield line, and a goal box line roughly six yards in front of each goal. Being the highly skilled ball handlers that many Central American players are, they played by the rule that you could only score from inside the goal line. I knew that there weren't many soccer players in our group, and those of us that were (myself included) lacked the precision passing skills that were required to set up such close range shots, so I asked if they could lay that rule aside for the evening cause we would hardly be able to score that way. In my head, I wanted to ask if they could trash the rule so we could actually play soccer instead of having a competitive passing drill, which was what their style of play looked like compared to the physical style I'm used to, but I elected to be respectful of them as the host culture.
So things were going great, we were allowed to shoot from farther out which helped our lack of skills considerably. But part way through the evening, some of the Honduran players asked if we could all revert back to "inside the box scoring" because they, quote, "couldn't play this way." While the rest of my group was saying, "Sure, whatever," I was thinking, "What do you mean you can't play this way?! Just cause you're allowed to shoot from far out doesn't mean you can't shoot from close up! You can still play the same way!" As I expected, scoring became much less frequent. Nine times out of ten, getting close enough to shoot meant getting close enough for the keeper or defender to take the ball. And we were divided into four teams, a new team went on to replace the team that got scored on. So with goals now only coming every 5 to 10 minutes, that meant a lot of standing around, and a lot less fun. It also meant a lot of time for me to get more and more frustrated. I tried to make my case a time or two to the people around me, but was basically just told to get over it. So I got more and more frustrated and eventually angry. But finally it seemed that my youth pastor bailed me out. We were the next team to finally get to go back on the field, and he buried a brilliant shot from the side of the field into the top corner. "Alright, it's finally time to play again, just forget about how irritated you are" I thought, but just then the goal was called back because apparently my youth pastor was a few micro inches outside of the goal box. That about put me over the top. I knew I was one unsympathetic comment, or one more called back goal from saying or doing something I'd regret. So I walked off the field and sat down by myself in the bleachers. I'm pretty sure that the Hondurans thought I was quitting just because I didn't get things my way. My peers probably thought I was just an overly competitive player who couldn't take a laid back, friendly game for what it was. I think the only person who understood why I sat down was my youth pastor who came and talked to me. But regardless of how bad it may have come across, I'm convinced that it was better than anything I would have done had I continued playing.
I'll never know what Lebron's reasoning for not shaking hands was, but if it was at all like what I expect, then I have a lot of respect for him. Walking off the field in Honduras was difficult. You know people are going to judge you. But in the long run, you know you've made the right choice.
It was my senior year of high school; my only year playing varsity soccer. It was the season I had been anticipating every since I had started playing for Penn Manor. And we started off 0-4. Next on the schedule was McCaskey, an inner city school known much more for their basketball than their soccer, so it was the perfect time to get a win and get our season moving in the right direction. But on a wet, rainy day, we slopped our way into a second overtime period, tied 1-1. With about six minutes left, a McCaskey player got the ball just outside the box shot it crisply, but straight at me on one hop. It was a simple forward dive to scoop it up, but when I lowered my arms, the ball slipped through, and went between my legs for the game winning goal. Heading off the field in disbelief, I had absolutely no desire to ceremonially shake the opponent's hands. Given the nature of our coach, however, I knew I had no choice unless I wanted tomorrow's practice to be more than miserable. So I took the keeper's position at the front of the hand shake line and proceeded. As we passed the other team, I slapped hands, saying nothing. If I made any eye contact, it was a scowl. Looking back, I see no sportsmanship in this, only anti-sportsman ship. It was even to the point that when one of my friends (who was on McCaskey's JV team and sitting beside the bench) called my name several times, trying to get my attention in order to offer his condolences, and I completely ignored him.
Now before I go any farther, let me say this. I could have made the choice to have a better attitude. I could have been more gracious in defeat. But this was at least the second game in the young season that I felt like I had single handedly blown. In a way, I felt like I owed it to the rest of my team to not just walk off the field like everything was great. But given the way I carried myself, and knowing how I would act while "congratulating" the other team, would it have been more sportsman like to have sat down on the bench and said nothing, done nothing to the other team? Isn't there a point when, though it may be the more difficult and criticizable, the right thing to do is sit down and bypass the token and somewhat legalistic exchanges, because you know you might do something worse in the heat of the moment?
Now this is entirely speculation, I don't know what was/is going on inside Lebron's head, but I wonder if some of the same reasoning was behind Lebron's comments. When asked if he had spoken to Dwight Howard or any of the Magic players, he responded,
"No, I haven't, I send him an email last night congratulating him. One thing about me you gotta understand, it's hard to congratulate someone after just losing to them. I'm a winner, it's not being a poor sport or anything like that. Someone just beat you up, you're not going to congratulate them on beating you up, that doesn't make sense to me. I'm a competitor and that's what I do. It doesn't make sense for me to go over and shake some one's hand."
While it's easy for these comments to sound like they came from a poor sport, I do have to wonder whether it was Lebron's attempt to articulate, "You know, it was a tough loss, I was obviously disappointed, and as the leader of this team, I felt like we let a lot of people down. I knew that if I would have went over to congratulate them it wouldn't have been from the heart, it would have just been tradition; going through the motions." Again, I could be completely wrong on this one. But when people go to one extreme to criticizing someone, for not legalistically shaking hands in the name of good sportsmanship, you have to go to the other extreme to defend them. This may or may not be the case with Lebron, but sometimes the right thing, the mature thing, the sportsman like thing to do won't look as good to the public eye as the standard response does. But it is the best thing.
Finally, a story of a time when I decided to sit down. My church youth group was in Honduras on a missions trip, and one evening, we went with some of the Honduran church members to play soccer at a rented indoor field. The way the small field was marked was: a midfield line, and a goal box line roughly six yards in front of each goal. Being the highly skilled ball handlers that many Central American players are, they played by the rule that you could only score from inside the goal line. I knew that there weren't many soccer players in our group, and those of us that were (myself included) lacked the precision passing skills that were required to set up such close range shots, so I asked if they could lay that rule aside for the evening cause we would hardly be able to score that way. In my head, I wanted to ask if they could trash the rule so we could actually play soccer instead of having a competitive passing drill, which was what their style of play looked like compared to the physical style I'm used to, but I elected to be respectful of them as the host culture.
So things were going great, we were allowed to shoot from farther out which helped our lack of skills considerably. But part way through the evening, some of the Honduran players asked if we could all revert back to "inside the box scoring" because they, quote, "couldn't play this way." While the rest of my group was saying, "Sure, whatever," I was thinking, "What do you mean you can't play this way?! Just cause you're allowed to shoot from far out doesn't mean you can't shoot from close up! You can still play the same way!" As I expected, scoring became much less frequent. Nine times out of ten, getting close enough to shoot meant getting close enough for the keeper or defender to take the ball. And we were divided into four teams, a new team went on to replace the team that got scored on. So with goals now only coming every 5 to 10 minutes, that meant a lot of standing around, and a lot less fun. It also meant a lot of time for me to get more and more frustrated. I tried to make my case a time or two to the people around me, but was basically just told to get over it. So I got more and more frustrated and eventually angry. But finally it seemed that my youth pastor bailed me out. We were the next team to finally get to go back on the field, and he buried a brilliant shot from the side of the field into the top corner. "Alright, it's finally time to play again, just forget about how irritated you are" I thought, but just then the goal was called back because apparently my youth pastor was a few micro inches outside of the goal box. That about put me over the top. I knew I was one unsympathetic comment, or one more called back goal from saying or doing something I'd regret. So I walked off the field and sat down by myself in the bleachers. I'm pretty sure that the Hondurans thought I was quitting just because I didn't get things my way. My peers probably thought I was just an overly competitive player who couldn't take a laid back, friendly game for what it was. I think the only person who understood why I sat down was my youth pastor who came and talked to me. But regardless of how bad it may have come across, I'm convinced that it was better than anything I would have done had I continued playing.
I'll never know what Lebron's reasoning for not shaking hands was, but if it was at all like what I expect, then I have a lot of respect for him. Walking off the field in Honduras was difficult. You know people are going to judge you. But in the long run, you know you've made the right choice.
Friday, May 29, 2009
How much wood? Answering the old question
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Once the fast delivery of this tongue twister has been mastered, have you ever stopped and wondered what the answer to the question is? I hope to find an answer, or at least be able to give a ballpark estimate.
There’s a series of distinctions that need to be made before finding an answer, and here is the order:
1) The definition of “chuck.” Determining what the woodchuck is supposed to be doing is key.
2) “IF.” The word “if” implies that a woodchuck cannot “chuck” so the next step is to decide what must happen in order for the woodchuck to be able to “chuck.”
3) Now that we’ve figured out that “A woodchuck can chuck wood,” we need to decide how effectively it can do so, therefore determining how much. After completing this step, we will hopefully have an estimated answer.
Step 1:
I find it impossible to determine which definition of “chuck” is intended; at least not certainly enough that the margin of error would not throw the accuracy of the answer so far off that it would be rendered irrelevant. So the best option is to get three different answers from the three most likely definitions: a) “to throw or toss,” b) “a device used for holding drill bits,” and c) “food, provisions.” Having chosen three definitions, we proceed to step 2.
Step 2: Let’s define “a piece of wood” as the triangular cut of wood that is typically used for camp fires: about a foot long, and 4-6 inches in diameter.
2a) “To throw or toss.” Now “IF” must be determined. Can a woodchuck throw wood? Woodchucks are solid, tough creatures, but they have short limbs. So while they have the strength required, they lack the proper build. I’m no woodchuck expert, but given their body shape, and most likely lower coordination, throwing firewood is something a woodchuck could do marginally at best. So it needs to be clever. Since all the lists of smartest animals were completely void of woodchucks, I’ll rule out it being able to create any kind of device such as a catapult. Instead, in order to chuck, a woodchuck needs a perch, say, a 20 foot cliff. A woodchuck would be able to apply enough horizontal force on a piece of wood to toss it off a small cliff. Therefore, the woodchuck would be able to chuck.
2b) “A device used for holding drill bits.” This one presents a grammatical problem, as this definition of “chuck” is a noun, and the tongue twister uses “chuck” as a verb. However, given the context, I think we can concede that placing a piece of wood into the chuck could be called “chucking the wood.” It may not be the easiest task for a woodchuck to complete, but I have no doubt it would be capable.
2c) “Food, provisions.” I find this definition to be the least likely due to its specifications. We all know that the only way a woodchuck could chew up wood (food) and use it as its dwelling (provisions) is if there was some beaver in its pedigree. Since woodchuck-beaver cross breeds are few and far between, one has to question whether this was the definition intended by whoever penned the phrase, but the author of a tongue twister is going for functionality, not accuracy, so this possibility cannot be discarded. So what must happen in order for a woodchuck to “chuck?” It must be part beaver.
Step 3: Having previously set “pieces of wood” as a camp fire log, let’s set “chucking effectiveness” at a rate of how many pieces of wood the woodchuck can chuck in an hour.
3a) “How effectively can a woodchuck toss wood?” The act of the woodchuck chucking the wood off of the small cliff will take little time, maybe ten seconds max. This would mean that a woodchuck can chuck wood at a rate of 360 pph (pieces per hour). However, in all likely hood, the wood isn’t already at the top of the cliff, so the woodchuck will have to drag the small log all the way to the top. No easy task, but since we’ve already established woodchucks as strong, sturdy creatures, I’ll estimate that it will take about 8 minutes to drag one log up the hill and throw it off the cliff. So the final answer is: 7.5 pph.
3b) “How effectively can a woodchuck put wood in a chuck?” Since chucking wood in this way takes a bit more coordination, I would guess that it would take a woodchuck about 20 seconds to chuck one piece of wood. But here we run into even more problems. The decided size of the log won’t fit into many chucks if any. It will need cut into let’s say six pieces in order to be able to be chucked. So first, the woodchuck will have to drag the wood to the nearest beaver (unless it is part beaver itself, but not likely). This could be a long way away, or quite close. We’ll say it will take about 20 minutes for the woodchuck to take a piece of wood to the beaver. The beaver will need about three minutes to finish servicing the log, then the woodchuck will have to drag six small pieces of wood back to the chuck. Since the log is now in pieces, it will be more difficult, and will probably take about 30 minutes. After all of this, it will have to chuck each piece of wood, which at 20 seconds per piece will take two more minutes. So the total time is 55 minutes. In this case, a woodchuck can chuck wood at a rate of 1.09 pph.
3c) “How effectively can a woodchuck use wood for food or provision?” Chucking wood is what beavers do best, whether it’s building a house, or chomping down on a tree, but the question is how well a beaver-woodchuck cross breed can chuck wood. Looking specifically at using wood to build a house, a beaver is quite proficient, I would guess it could use a log every minute and a half (giving it time to push the wood from shore, to the dam, put it in place, and swim back to shore for the next one.) Since this prototype cross breed is half beaver, half woodchuck, we’ll say it has only half the effectiveness, therefore taking three minutes per log. Do the easy math: 20 pph.
So how much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you can figure out how long the woodchuck is chucking wood, you can now find three answers.
There’s a series of distinctions that need to be made before finding an answer, and here is the order:
1) The definition of “chuck.” Determining what the woodchuck is supposed to be doing is key.
2) “IF.” The word “if” implies that a woodchuck cannot “chuck” so the next step is to decide what must happen in order for the woodchuck to be able to “chuck.”
3) Now that we’ve figured out that “A woodchuck can chuck wood,” we need to decide how effectively it can do so, therefore determining how much. After completing this step, we will hopefully have an estimated answer.
Step 1:
I find it impossible to determine which definition of “chuck” is intended; at least not certainly enough that the margin of error would not throw the accuracy of the answer so far off that it would be rendered irrelevant. So the best option is to get three different answers from the three most likely definitions: a) “to throw or toss,” b) “a device used for holding drill bits,” and c) “food, provisions.” Having chosen three definitions, we proceed to step 2.
Step 2: Let’s define “a piece of wood” as the triangular cut of wood that is typically used for camp fires: about a foot long, and 4-6 inches in diameter.
2a) “To throw or toss.” Now “IF” must be determined. Can a woodchuck throw wood? Woodchucks are solid, tough creatures, but they have short limbs. So while they have the strength required, they lack the proper build. I’m no woodchuck expert, but given their body shape, and most likely lower coordination, throwing firewood is something a woodchuck could do marginally at best. So it needs to be clever. Since all the lists of smartest animals were completely void of woodchucks, I’ll rule out it being able to create any kind of device such as a catapult. Instead, in order to chuck, a woodchuck needs a perch, say, a 20 foot cliff. A woodchuck would be able to apply enough horizontal force on a piece of wood to toss it off a small cliff. Therefore, the woodchuck would be able to chuck.
2b) “A device used for holding drill bits.” This one presents a grammatical problem, as this definition of “chuck” is a noun, and the tongue twister uses “chuck” as a verb. However, given the context, I think we can concede that placing a piece of wood into the chuck could be called “chucking the wood.” It may not be the easiest task for a woodchuck to complete, but I have no doubt it would be capable.
2c) “Food, provisions.” I find this definition to be the least likely due to its specifications. We all know that the only way a woodchuck could chew up wood (food) and use it as its dwelling (provisions) is if there was some beaver in its pedigree. Since woodchuck-beaver cross breeds are few and far between, one has to question whether this was the definition intended by whoever penned the phrase, but the author of a tongue twister is going for functionality, not accuracy, so this possibility cannot be discarded. So what must happen in order for a woodchuck to “chuck?” It must be part beaver.
Step 3: Having previously set “pieces of wood” as a camp fire log, let’s set “chucking effectiveness” at a rate of how many pieces of wood the woodchuck can chuck in an hour.
3a) “How effectively can a woodchuck toss wood?” The act of the woodchuck chucking the wood off of the small cliff will take little time, maybe ten seconds max. This would mean that a woodchuck can chuck wood at a rate of 360 pph (pieces per hour). However, in all likely hood, the wood isn’t already at the top of the cliff, so the woodchuck will have to drag the small log all the way to the top. No easy task, but since we’ve already established woodchucks as strong, sturdy creatures, I’ll estimate that it will take about 8 minutes to drag one log up the hill and throw it off the cliff. So the final answer is: 7.5 pph.
3b) “How effectively can a woodchuck put wood in a chuck?” Since chucking wood in this way takes a bit more coordination, I would guess that it would take a woodchuck about 20 seconds to chuck one piece of wood. But here we run into even more problems. The decided size of the log won’t fit into many chucks if any. It will need cut into let’s say six pieces in order to be able to be chucked. So first, the woodchuck will have to drag the wood to the nearest beaver (unless it is part beaver itself, but not likely). This could be a long way away, or quite close. We’ll say it will take about 20 minutes for the woodchuck to take a piece of wood to the beaver. The beaver will need about three minutes to finish servicing the log, then the woodchuck will have to drag six small pieces of wood back to the chuck. Since the log is now in pieces, it will be more difficult, and will probably take about 30 minutes. After all of this, it will have to chuck each piece of wood, which at 20 seconds per piece will take two more minutes. So the total time is 55 minutes. In this case, a woodchuck can chuck wood at a rate of 1.09 pph.
3c) “How effectively can a woodchuck use wood for food or provision?” Chucking wood is what beavers do best, whether it’s building a house, or chomping down on a tree, but the question is how well a beaver-woodchuck cross breed can chuck wood. Looking specifically at using wood to build a house, a beaver is quite proficient, I would guess it could use a log every minute and a half (giving it time to push the wood from shore, to the dam, put it in place, and swim back to shore for the next one.) Since this prototype cross breed is half beaver, half woodchuck, we’ll say it has only half the effectiveness, therefore taking three minutes per log. Do the easy math: 20 pph.
So how much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you can figure out how long the woodchuck is chucking wood, you can now find three answers.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Tribute to John Madden
Several weeks ago, longtime football broadcaster John Madden announced his retirement. As many of you know, Madden has long been the punchline of many of my jokes, however, today I've had a change of heart. So, here is my tribute to John Madden. My tribute to some of his incredible feats and accomplishments.
-Congratulations, John Madden, for your perseverance at trying to master the broadcast etch-a-sketch. We all know how difficult and confusing it is to use it. It wasn't your fault you were always drawing circles around the wrong players, that machine has a mind of its own. Yet you never showed hesitation while trying to show us how the slot receiver ran a crossing route...er...the outside receiver came across the middle to make the catch. We never would have been able understand what had happened on the previous play without all those yellow scribbles.
-Congratulations, John Madden, on being probably the only person with your level of fame, to NOT show up first on a youtube search of your name. What's the title of the first video? "Frank Caliendo." Go figure, such a titanic household name, yet you don't actually show up until 5th in the previously mentioned search. That's what I call impressive!
-Congratulations, John Madden, on providing building blocks for the country's greatest impersonator/comedian. Frank Caliendo is now known for being able to pull off a convincing impression of pretty much anyone famous, but it all started with his famous, "Now if the quarterback, throws the ball, an-an-and the receiver catches it, in the end zone, well that's gonna be a touchdown!" Frank Caliendo has made so many people laugh so many times, and just think, you helped start it!
-Congratulations, John Madden, on being one of the few people who could see a steak being prepared in a stadium and see it as an opportunity to make fun of vegetables. I'm sure you remember going off on a tangent about how green beans aren't good when a shot showed a Pittsburgh vendor piling sauteed onions on a large slab of meat.
-Congratulations, John Madden, for making so much out of so little. All the other people in the broadcast biz can formulate sentences better than you can, can find informative pieces of information better than you can, can speak more clearly than you can, and can analyze games better than you can, yet you still got your voice all over prime time games AND the biggest NFL video game. You are a testament to beating the odds and overcoming disabilities.
-Finally, congratulations, John Madden, for picking the perfect time to retire. You left your spot in NBC's Sunday Night Football broadcast booth just before a season in which you would have done three Eagles games. If I would have had to listen to you announce three of my team's games the same season, within six weeks none the less, yours truly just might have gone crazy.
Happy, retirement, John. You will not be forgotten.
-Congratulations, John Madden, for your perseverance at trying to master the broadcast etch-a-sketch. We all know how difficult and confusing it is to use it. It wasn't your fault you were always drawing circles around the wrong players, that machine has a mind of its own. Yet you never showed hesitation while trying to show us how the slot receiver ran a crossing route...er...the outside receiver came across the middle to make the catch. We never would have been able understand what had happened on the previous play without all those yellow scribbles.
-Congratulations, John Madden, on being probably the only person with your level of fame, to NOT show up first on a youtube search of your name. What's the title of the first video? "Frank Caliendo." Go figure, such a titanic household name, yet you don't actually show up until 5th in the previously mentioned search. That's what I call impressive!
-Congratulations, John Madden, on providing building blocks for the country's greatest impersonator/comedian. Frank Caliendo is now known for being able to pull off a convincing impression of pretty much anyone famous, but it all started with his famous, "Now if the quarterback, throws the ball, an-an-and the receiver catches it, in the end zone, well that's gonna be a touchdown!" Frank Caliendo has made so many people laugh so many times, and just think, you helped start it!
-Congratulations, John Madden, on being one of the few people who could see a steak being prepared in a stadium and see it as an opportunity to make fun of vegetables. I'm sure you remember going off on a tangent about how green beans aren't good when a shot showed a Pittsburgh vendor piling sauteed onions on a large slab of meat.
-Congratulations, John Madden, for making so much out of so little. All the other people in the broadcast biz can formulate sentences better than you can, can find informative pieces of information better than you can, can speak more clearly than you can, and can analyze games better than you can, yet you still got your voice all over prime time games AND the biggest NFL video game. You are a testament to beating the odds and overcoming disabilities.
-Finally, congratulations, John Madden, for picking the perfect time to retire. You left your spot in NBC's Sunday Night Football broadcast booth just before a season in which you would have done three Eagles games. If I would have had to listen to you announce three of my team's games the same season, within six weeks none the less, yours truly just might have gone crazy.
Happy, retirement, John. You will not be forgotten.
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